I don’t know about most of the other parents

but I kept 3 out of the 4 I had in a cradle in our room for the first 4 or 5 months. It was just so much easier, especially in the middle of the night, to have the baby with us. You’ll want to to make sure the baby can’t see you, so when you move him to his own room, it’ll be a lot easier, but it’s really going to be ok for you to keep your mom under the watchful eye of you and your dh, in a two bedroom place until it’s time to move. It sounds to me that the boundary issues are not with your mom and your husband and you, but with your mom and your db and dsil. The sound toxic, to say the least. You’ll be ok, and so will she. I’m glad she’s not harmed, and it’s wonderful you and your dh are there for her. As a side note, I think I would let your mom know how nice it will be to have her there with you when you have your little guy, and it will. Make her feel this is a blessing for her to be there with you, and that you’ll need her help, it might make things less stressful (guiltless) for her.

I wish I could offer some magic-wand-waving suggestions

but I’m too familiar with dysfunctional family members to have any illusions that way. At least your mom is OK after the accident. And while having her live with you isn’t ideal, you mentioned that you had a plan; I’m sure you can come up with a revision to the plan that will cover the bases. Maybe not to everyone’s best liking, but hey we can only do what we can do. Your mom is safe and secure and maybe not firing on all cylinders but hey, we all have our issues don’t we? Maybe tell your SIL to go buy her own little servant, instead of using Mom. Balance things out as best you can amongst the various needs of the family, and pat yourself on the back that you’re trying to chart a sane course amidst a lot of distractions and temptations, and on behalf of folks who don’t exactly share your philosophy (but dang it would be nice if they did!). And hang in there!